


Tearing At The Seams

by cosmic_interference



Series: We Thank Our Lucky Stars [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Married Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Modern/Canonverse Crossover, Reylo Baby, if you squint maybe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-09-30 09:44:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20445092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmic_interference/pseuds/cosmic_interference
Summary: All about them fat droplets fell. Kylo was panting. “I will not stop until you join me.” His voice changed to speak a naked plea, just as he had after Snoke was no more in the throne room and they were the only ones left.She was ready.He would not catch her crying for him to change his mind. That had long past. Leia and Luke had gone through so much pain to try and convince him to turn around. But their efforts were for naught. Even now, as he stood there, she could feel that his mind was still made up, still hell-bent on this mission of getting her to stand by him.She raised her own weapon.No more.And charged.





	Tearing At The Seams

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sisinala](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sisinala/gifts), [seeyouspaceweeb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seeyouspaceweeb/gifts), [stories_in_my_head](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stories_in_my_head/gifts), [anoonzee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anoonzee/gifts), [murakamism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/murakamism/gifts), [ReyreyButt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyreyButt/gifts), [diasterisms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/diasterisms/gifts), [shadesofstubbornness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadesofstubbornness/gifts).

> I would like to thank sooo many people who made this fic possible. Firstly, my friend [canelle_allechant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cannelle_allechant) for helping me develop the Modern AU aspect of the story. And then to my beta, [TokiDoki](https://twitter.com/doki_tokidoki) for appreciating the Angst that I have infused in this writing and weeping with me about it. I extend my gratitude to [sisinala](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sisinala), too, for the gorgeous moodboard for the story! 
> 
> I dedicate this to so many people, too, but mostly to the Yayas of Ren, a beautiful little corner of fandom I call home. This for y’all!! ❤️ 
> 
> To those who would be reading this, it will be a Canonverse/Modern AU crossover story with heavier leanings to the Canonverse. I will include links below to planets and SWU-related stuff in the End Notes and will be saying right here, right now that I will be taking liberties about certain in-universe things. :) I blame Disney for hyping me up with the freaking Mandalorian trailer and _then_ Dark!Rey. 
> 
> Made a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0XJ2icOG96Hh8lWYm9SJD5?si=SajWVlDoQDqSn8ybHHVE0g) for this, too.
> 
> AND SO. Here it is! Enjoy~

****

Everywhere she went, no matter what planet she was on, they had only one dynamic: fighting. 

Now, with mud and muck under her feet, she advanced, parried, and slashed. Kylo Ren stayed firmly in lockstep with her, lunging with incisive precision and grunting in fury. She’d thought fleeing to the Greater Plooroid Cluster to lure him to Serroco would give her a brief respite from their entangled subconscious. But alas, Kylo Ren had far more experience in the Force than she did. 

Still, she persevered to remain positive about her escape plan, only for it to be thwarted not 24-hours later. The trouble lay—as she ducked and deflected Kylo’s horizontal slash with a crackling pushback—in the indisputable reality that was their connection. 

Drenched in rain and irritating sand soiling every swath of linen on her body, she could feel his mind throbbing with anger, in the same way hers was. She could feel every sinew in his body screaming in exhaustion as she ran from his wide strides and met his every blow with teeth bared and eyes struggling to detect him in the storm. 

The fact that Serroco was a dustbin of a planet constantly beaten down by rain didn’t help her predicament. It only served to fuel her ire—only served to stretch her so thin that she had to make sure she didn’t break under the pressure. 

The hairs on her nape stood on end when Kylo’s lightsaber bore down over her head. Thankfully, she’d pushed a hand out to throw his advance off by the Force just before she decided to firmly close the bond between them. He laughed menacingly when he felt it. He always knew. He stalked her like prey, the hissing red of his lightsaber the only light casting a glow on the side of his face. 

All about them fat droplets fell. Kylo was panting. “I will not stop until you join me.” His voice changed to speak a naked plea, just as he had after Snoke was no more in the throne room and they were the only ones left. 

She was ready. 

He would not catch her crying for him to change his mind. That had long past. Leia and Luke had gone through so much pain to try and convince him to turn around. But their efforts were for naught. Even now, as he stood there, she could feel that his mind was still made up, still hell-bent on this mission of getting her to stand by him. 

She raised her own weapon. _ No more. _ And charged. 

*

She blinked. 

All she could feel was warmth. A sturdy weight around her waist and a steady heartbeat by her shoulder. It was a man much wider and much calmer than her. His breath was close to her neck and the words he mumbled there sounded like it was for someone else. 

She blinked again—

And nearly yelped when she saw her fingers, clean and well-manicured, like she hadn’t spent years wondering if they would ever be clean. It was like the backwater planet of Jakku never existed on her hands. There were no hard lines or scars where she knew she twirled her quarterstaff ever since she made it when she was ten years old. Up along her arm was nothing but a shirt sleeve. There were no armguards of any kind here, just smooth shoulders. Her state of dress was different, too. She was wearing a red shirt that was not unlike the color of Kylo’s blade. Her legs were covered in long, luxurious cottony softness, like the pants people wore in the Core World planets.

Then she looked at where she sat and finally registered what all that warmth was. She turned her head and blinked once more—at the man with the golden-brown eyes she knew so well staring at her in concern. 

She stood up abruptly, pushing against Kylo's massive thigh and twisting his muscles. He called out her name with a pained groan. Quickly, Rey took stock of everything around her. 

It was unlike anything she’d ever seen. Whatever this place was, no one here suffered. The walls were white and the halls were clean. There were doors built into the halls that lead into cozy rooms with fully-furnished beds with soft, comfortable mattresses and lamps on the bedside tables. The windows were not reinforced with transparisteel and there were no comms devices at the ready on every available flat surface. Along the walls, there were only either colorful drawings of two men—looking suspiciously like Finn and Poe—holding hands, a sun above them, and a drawing of two small children. 

She took a closer look and saw the material it was drawn on. _ Was that flimsiplast? No one used that anymore. _

A knock at the door made her jump and Kylo was standing there, wearing a black sweater and a warm smile. Suddenly, she remembered the bond and tried to find answers there, staring into his face with the intent of rooting around in his head for some sort of explanation. 

He just stared at her dumbly, the heft of his long arm braced against the doorknob as he looked on. “Rey?” He said. “Baby, are you okay?” 

_ Baby? _ How did she come from fighting this man in pouring rain and having him call her by a _ pet name? _Suddenly, Poe was in the doorway, not dressed in any way she imagined. Finn was there, too, standing a little outside in the hallway with the same concerned look she had seen in Kylo’s. 

_ Wait. _

They were in the same room. All of them. Together. As if there were no sides. No divides. No wars. No Hosnian Prime destruction. She started hyperventilating and lifted her head to check Kylo’s waist where she knew his lightsaber holster always was. There was no crossguard there, only pants in the similar shade as his sweater. Where was she? 

Kylo (or maybe he wasn’t Kylo?) broke the ice of confusion by chuckling, stepping closer to her and drawing her against his massive chest. She froze, her nose assaulted with the scent of him, fresh, clean, and strangely, home. “I know what this is.” He whispered in her ear. She shivered, unbidden. When she spoke next, her confusion was tinged with attraction. 

“Y-you do?” 

“Yes,” he said, voice hushed and deep. “You’re thinking about your novel and you’re dissociating a little because it’s getting really intense, isn’t it?” 

“Y-yes. It’s just… so many things are on my mind right now, sorry.” 

She thought back to all of the years she spent on Jakku, all the times that she had to acclimatize to a certain situation to be able to escape safely. Like the time when one trader tried to trick her into boarding a ship to leave for another planet even as she saw that the few young women who came out looked far less spritely than they first entered. She’d nodded along when they told her where they were going, let them think that she was all in with the plan. She then snuck out in the cover of night with the other young children of Jakku in tow. 

It was a risk. But seeing it pay off and finally holding the hands of those young children and telling them _ it will be alright _ had been all she needed to soldier on. She could only hope they were safe now. 

She hoped she could count on safety now, too, and decided that perhaps the best course of action was to go along with everything until she could find answers. 

And so, she pressed close with her hand gently coming to rest at Kylo’s chest or whoever this person might be, tentatively pushing up on her toes to kiss him slowly on the lips. The resulting flinch in his body didn’t give her access to his mind like she’d hoped. 

This was a different reality, though. Maybe this Kylo was not connected with her through a bond, but he seemed _ really _ connected to her right now otherwise, returning her kisses with quiet fervor lest their friends at the doorway put a stop to it. 

“Come on, Ben,” the man who looked like Poe said, tapping Kylo’s—_ Ben’s, _ now—shoulder to draw the two of them out of the kiss. “It’s getting late. And Kaydel is going to hurl herself off a bridge if we don’t come back for the twins anytime now. Come on. You can smooch with Rey on the way there. I’ll drive you.” 

‘Ben’ took her hand in his, tugging her gently and hugging her from behind when they reached the end of the hall, which opened up into the living room. She saw the wing chair where she and ‘Ben’ sat earlier, when, just a few seconds ago, she’d been cozily nestled in his lap. There was a black faceless screen that looked like it was suspended on the wall, a ceiling fan stuck to the top of the room with its arms spinning lazily. It reminded her of the big rusted and ragged ceiling fans in the Resistance mess halls and how they looked so ancient that Rey had had dreams of them falling on her while she was eating. 

Nothing in this place looked old or run-down and it bothered her. Even the carpets looked well taken care of. The sweating glasses of water on the counter were shuttled shortly into a sink that Finn was now bustling over. 

As Ben excused himself to get their belongings, she wondered about this Finn and Poe, too. She came to the conclusion that perhaps she was—and she absolutely dreaded this—in a different reality. 

From the barrage of information she was already able to collect, it seemed that in this universe, a few universal truths were accepted within the timeline. These being A) here, Ben and Rey were in an established relationship of some sort. This one was the most apparent, seen in the way she awoke in this corner of whatever wormhole she’d gone through snug against Ben’s lap. 

The second point, B) is that_ Poe and Finn _ here was also in some sort of established relationship--though by all accounts, even in her own reality, there always seemed to be something crackling between them, kept at bay only by the constant threat of destruction that was always hovering over the small band that was the Resistance. 

The last point was whoever the twins may be. And whatever it was that Kaydel might be doing for her to accumulate such frustration to hurl herself off a bridge. After Ben announced that their belongings were now securely in his arms, Poe ushered them out, but not before Finn came bounding down to give Rey the softest, warmest hug. 

For the first time since she came here, she smiled, relieved that at least even in this reality, Finn was her ride or die. “Thank you, Finn,” she mumbled and she was not surprised to realize that her smile was genuine. 

He winked. “Anytime, peanut. Say hello to Hannah for me!” 

“Hannah,” she echoed and then remembering she had to keep up an act, replied: “Will do!”

“Alright!” He boomed back, just as they came into the hall to leave. “She’s all grown up, can you believe it? I can’t wait ‘till I get to see her again.” 

Rey’s mind raced as they descended the stairs, her eyes scanning more of the world she had woken up in. The building looked like a duplex of some sort with doors on each side of the hall. The floors were carpeted, the design rich and ornate. She could not place what cultures in her own timeline they reminded her of, only that they told her further that this was a world every bit as different from hers. 

Out in the open, the chill of the crisp night met her shoulders and she shivered. In a flash, Ben was right there, covering her with his own cardigan. She knew because it smelled exactly like him. 

“Thank you,” she said and Ben smiled at her lazily like she hung the stars. The blush that came with his response was unbidden, but based on the way he leaned in to kiss her one more time, she could tell he appreciated it. 

“You’re welcome,” he said, leaving her a little breathless. _ How pleasant. She’d never been kissed before. _

Poe led them behind the building just before a copse of trees drenched in the quiet darkness of a starless night sky. There was some sort of squarish vehicle sitting there, bracketed by two white lines on the ground. It was bright red and polished to perfection. Poe beamed at it like it was his X-Wing. She almost sent herself in a fit of giggles imagining her-universe Poe seeing this vehicle instead of his beloved starfighter models. 

Before she could stop herself, she blurted, “This is your ride?” 

Poe chuckled though he didn’t seem offended. He looked more amused. “I know it’s pretty old but it’s got something to give. You should know. You patched it up for me back when we were in college when nobody expected you to be such a good mechanic.” 

That comforted her, partly because it helped her piece together this strange world better and partly because she was delighted to see that even here some things never changed. 

“I did?” She asked gleefully while Poe nodded. 

“Sure did. Hop in, we’re getting the kids.” He said. 

_ Kids? _ Here she tried hard not to show the way her brows met. _ Kids? Whose were they? And was that who Hannah was? _ She froze. _ Was that _ her _ kid? _ Where she stopped on the driveway, Ben stood before her, worryingly touching the side of her face. She told him she was okay when he asked, yet again, before smoothing her creased forehead with a gentle kiss. _ Does she have a kid with Ben here? _

She blushed furiously at the thought, quickly scurrying into the backseat door that Poe had opened. Ben filled the seat beside her not moments later, unbothered by her embarrassment and pulling her close. _ He kept kissing her. _

It was ridiculous. He kept pressing those sinful lips she’d looked at and dreamed about for many sleepless nights, wondering when the time would come and her-universe Kylo Ren finally admitted that all he wanted was to come home. 

There would be little time to think about that now because she was once again pressed up to Ben’s side, listening in on his heartbeat and feeling the huff of air pass through his nostrils and into the strands of her hair. Poe said nothing as he drove, yawning periodically. 

Outside, it was already pretty dark. It was probably late here, too. 

When they reached yet another duplex, Poe eased the car into park.

“I’ll come in first,” Ben announced beside her, kissing her temple. She could only nod. So. Many. Kisses. “Poe, you get ready in case Lucius barrels through the door when I open it.” 

_ Lucius? _ Poe swung the door open on her side of the car just then, offering a hand for her to hold as he helped her down. “Man, you’ve got such a doting husband. Sometimes I wonder if he ever just _ stops _ you know. Been obsessed with you for the longest time.” 

_ Husband? Who, Ben? _ Her eyes widened for a fraction before she was schooling her face back into calm seriousness. It was hard to do when all Poe seemed to want to talk about at the moment was her ‘doting husband.’ 

She tried to find a way to fish for more information without sounding disjointed from this reality. It was true, of course, though she wasn’t so sure how that would be received if she said it. “I know. It’s been what… how many years?” 

Poe chuckled, keeping his eyes on the stairs as they ascended. “Don’t play that game with me, Rey, we all know he’s been in love with you since high school. He never stopped hanging out with you through college.” 

Somehow, she allowed herself to picture that, Ben and her and whatever ‘high school’ or ‘college’ was. 

“I know that,” she fake-laughed. “But I just want you to tell me if you know how many years it had been.” For good measure, and because she guessed perhaps this Poe was also competitive, she added, “To kind of test you, you know. In case you’ve forgotten.” 

Poe’s eyes filled with mirth. “You’ve known each other for 10 years ever since you were 9 years old and began dating in college in earnest. You’re each other’s first and I honestly don’t know how you guys do it. Ben never looked at anyone the same way he looked at you. And nothing has changed even now.” 

She allowed herself to picture that, too. It was a happy picture. A saccharine-sweet portrait of something she knew she would never have with her-universe Kylo Ren. It shouldn’t hurt but it did and she wondered why that was. 

“Hannah was the ultimate gift for the both of you. Ben was the happiest when she came.” Poe grinned wide when high-pitched laughter resounded in the hall just then, and before he crouched down, he said to Rey, “And speaking of ultimate gifts— there’s my man Lucius!” 

A curly-haired child crashed his entire small body into Poe’s chest, giggling and laughing and smiling happily. Poe smiled back, ruffling the boy’s silky locks. At this point, Poe had to plant his knees on the floor and sit back on his heels because then another small boy was bounding through the floorboards, crashing into Poe’s chest the same way the other child had. 

This one looked more like Finn. His soft, knowing eyes crinkled in delight. “Johnny!” Poe exclaimed before they were shushed by a tenant down the hall for all the noise. 

Then came Ben, holding the sweetest little girl she’d ever seen in her life, with chestnut hair the same as hers, long lashes and the beginning of an aquiline nose that looked just like Ben’s. She was fast asleep, her head pressed into the side of Ben’s thick neck and her short stubby fingers curled around Ben’s collar. He didn’t notice her yet, kissing and cooing and bouncing the child in his arms, but Rey noticed him. He was all she noticed, her heart having gone soft at the image before her. 

But then she remembered where she was, what she still had to do. 

Johnny had gone and clung to her leg in the minutes she stood still, looking up at her with those very Finn-like eyes. 

“Well, hello there,” she greeted him, voice soft and heart warm. “How was, err, today, Johnny?” 

The child beamed at her, throwing his arms around her neck to nuzzle close. Poe stood back up, wrestling with the little rowdy Lucius in his arms who was hitting a toy dinosaur against his father’s chest. “Hey.” He warned. “What did daddy say?” 

“No hitting.” Lucius pouted, jutting an arm out and comically letting go of the toy so that it thudded hard on the floorboard. The same tenant that had shushed them came back. Poe leveled Lucius with a stern glare, but the child just tilted his head in challenge. 

“That one’s a troublemaker.” Ben said as he approached them, a still-sleeping Hannah in his arms. “Just like his father.” 

Poe snorted. “I was _ not _ this much of a troublemaker.” 

Ben shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. It wasn’t like I grew up with you and have known you all my life.” 

“Shut up,” Poe shot back, though he was laughing. 

“Thank you for the dinner, Poe. Rey’s been stressed lately, what with the book launch...and we really needed to destress.” 

“Anytime, bro. Although… if you really wanted to destress… you could always ask me and Finn to babysit Hannah so you guys could get some… sexy time.” 

Rey blushed. She hid her face by tending to the giggling little Johnny now playing with her short hair. Right. Even her hair was different here too. 

Ben shook his head. “Whatever, Poe. You guys better go. Hannah will wake up any minute if she hears any more of this ruckus.” 

“Right,” Poe said, seemingly remembering himself. Gently, he coaxed Johnny out of Rey’s grasp and set him down on his feet. After some goodbyes, Rey watched as Lucius continued to pester his father all the way down the stairs, halting abruptly at each step and forcing his father to come back up and pull him down. 

Rey returned her focus on Ben when he tugged her gently back to his side, holding her waist with one free arm and pressing his forehead against hers. “I’m so happy,” he said. He sounded like he meant it. 

She looked at Hannah, this sweet beautiful child she knew somehow was a wonder of her and Ben’s creation, and thought maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t so bad to stay here for now. 

If only bliss could last forever. 

*

She slept very little and awoke before he did. 

Just the previous night, it had been clear that no answers would pop up even if she tried. Ben had only insisted she go through her schedule for the book launch and book signing tomorrow one more time as he tucked Hannah in bed. She had followed his advice but only stood confused in the middle of the study, trying to make out the letters on the book spines even though they were not the Aurebesh she was used to. 

An idea struck her and pretty soon she was rifling through drawers and going through the flimsiplast file folders they still used here. 

All of them were in an alphabet she did not recognize. 

Defeated, she sat back down, racking her brain for something. Fatigue overtook her quickly, her mind exhausted beyond belief. It was odd. She thought it odd when Ben opened the door only a fraction to peek inside. 

He asked her if she was alright yet again. She figured that if she was standing mere inches from him, he would have pulled her close and kissed her once again. 

Out of range from his long arms, she only watched him, feeling odd because even as she saw no one but Kylo in those eyes, it felt like she was staring at herself. This man reminded her of everything that could be, if she only had the courage to make it so. And if Kylo only had the willingness to let her. 

Looking at him now, arms slung over her stomach and soft lips slightly parted in sleep, she pretended it was Kylo Ren holding her in his arms. 

She pretended because she could, pretended because she realized that if she was going to be stuck here, she might as well spend her days kissing and remembering each wrinkle and mole and beauty mark on his face. The way she knew she would never be able to do with Kylo. 

It spoke volumes about her loneliness and it gripped her heart like a vice. 

Something about the way he just slept there so soundly, unaware of everything that was going on in her mind, in her heart. 

_ It was not his fault _, she reminded herself. This one was without fault. 

Where she came from, everyone had flaws so big they could swallow entire planets. They had enemies they destroyed because they could. It was where someone like Rey belonged, not in this vivid picture of serenity, snuggled beside a man she didn’t really know. 

When he blinked, it changed everything. As the sleep left his gaze, he only saw her and she had little willpower to look anywhere else. Oh how pleasant it was to look on without such guilt, without having to cross an entire galaxy only to break her heart little by little each time. 

“Good morning.” Ben said, rubbing his hand against the side of his face, the beautiful band that signified their union glinting, taunting her. 

“Good morning.” 

This was not her life. Hers was a fickle existence in a star-filled world surrounded by countless choking battles that never seemed to end. 

She wished it wasn’t. She wished it was as tangible as this one. She wished this could happen; that even though she could neither read the letters of this world nor understand it intimately, maybe she could understand this Ben. Maybe she could change for this world and no other. 

Before Ben could stand up, she tugged him down softly, letting her eyes answer his wordless question. He came back down, nestled himself into her arms, and like he did last night, made her feel like she could keep her arms around him forever. Rey remembered all the fighting. Everything that she and Kylo were instead of what they could be. 

And kissed Ben. 

Soft lips met her chapped ones, pliant, warm, wet, _ forgiving _. This one never wanted. It never angered. It never asked her to take up arms or hide in the shadows with him. Never asked her to survive in secrecy, never asked her to crouch down behind flames of anger where love melted into nothingness. 

In Ben’s arms, she didn’t feel like nothing. She felt the world burst in color, almost as if it was made through the eyes of an innocent child. 

When he held her here, Rey didn’t feel like an embarrassing secret. She didn’t feel guilty. There were no burdens where his kisses pressed against her skin, only a gleeful kind of happiness that made its home in sincerity. He ran his hands over the shirt she slept in and lifted it off her, finding her pounding heart under her ribcage. He kissed the soft skin above it and muttered three words she’d only dreamed of. 

This was such a nice dream, she thought. It was beautiful how he laughed when he dragged her shirt up, beautiful how he seemed unable to leave her lips alone. Her head swam with nights she spent with Kylo. Never like this. 

Those were interludes. 

They were nothing but mistakes. 

Bribes that lead to nothing but empty searing kisses. 

In the morning when they woke up, nothing would change. They were still on two sides of a battle that Rey only desperately wanted to end. 

Change was not for them. It was for this Ben and his world. It was for a life that could accommodate the complexity of it. It was not for her. _ “I want you,” _she remembered Kylo would say in the quiet nights of their dalliance. But no matter how quiet they were, her heart screamed in pain when they separated. 

She wanted to change for this world. She wanted to _ have _ so much it broke her. Because Ben might be kissing her and stroking her hair, making her feel loved and warm inside every minute he could, but it would never be the same. She watched him sit up, smiled through wet eyes how he raised the side of his face to listen in on something. 

“Don’t hate me,” he laughed, warm breath on the side of her face. 

“Never,” her heart ached. 

A smile broke out on his lips and it was the most beautiful thing Rey had ever seen. 

“I hope Hannah doesn’t wake up just yet,” he confessed, holding the hands of his wife, she thought, for that was who she was here. Someone he confided with when there was no one. “I’ve missed you.” 

“I miss you every day.” 

There seemed no end to his joy, no limit to his unabashed affection. “I’m right here, baby. I’ll never leave you.” 

Rey wanted to borrow that. She wanted to hear it in a voice she knew so well even though the heart behind it was different. “Promise me,” she whispered. 

“I promise.” He said with fervor, he said with an emotion she was terrified to name. 

“I promise,” he repeated as he covered her with his body. “I love you.” He said as he held her hands. “I’ll always be by your side.” 

Fool, she thought. She was a fool to just lie there and take it. This was not her life. A cruel joke was what this was, a painful reminder that all she was here was everything she knew she could never be. But when he kissed her, it felt like coming home. When he held her in his arms to cradle her head as he passed in and out of her, she felt nothing but admiration shot through with heart-wrenching pain. 

It was so unlike her first time with Kylo. They had been on Ord Mantell then, the pink clouds watching over the shuffling of their feet and the locking of their swords. Only words of anger and hate filled the noise in their heads and she didn’t know if he knew then, knew that she would trade what little she owned to make this all go away. 

Maybe he did. There had been something in his eyes that spoke to her. He had kissed her then, in the open field, away from intrusive stares from entities on either sides. 

_ “Come with me,” _he’d said, and what a fool she had been to indulge him, a fool to believe that where they were going, they were never going to come back.

“Rey,” this Ben said, noticing the tears that had slipped out of her eyes. She shivered where he touched her, broke some more when he kissed them away. “I will always love you.” He said it like it was the easiest thing in the world. And for all her longing, she could not return it, those words. 

But he seemed content. He smiled and held her and continued to fuck her. 

_ This wasn’t fucking _ , her mind told her and she struggled with this. There were no walls she was pressed up against, no musty smell from rugs left to dry in cramped storage rooms because that was the only place she and Kylo could let their emotions lose without fear of obligation or threat of death. _ This wasn’t fucking. _

_ This was lovemaking. _

Ben held her and kissed her because he wanted to, she was seeing it now. Ben held her because she was his wife. Ben held her because of love. 

When she came, it was with no name on her lips, only the guttural, primal scream of the person she knew to be herself but now never recognized. 

This was such a cruel joke. 

Ben kissed her as he came down, too, peppering slow, open-mouthed kisses on the side of her face with that same mirth before this even began. Always. Always so open. She allowed herself to laugh then, face wet but heart warm with both love and pain. And he smiled and laughed with her, kissing her shoulder, kissing her neck. 

“Do you want another Hannah?” He said after a while. 

Laughter was hard to come by here. But Ben’s weight was reassuring and his silky hair was as soft as she dreamed them to be. “Maybe,” she said. 

“Do you remember when we were still trying to get pregnant?” 

She didn’t remember. She wouldn’t let herself. She forced a laugh. “Tell me, Ben.” She uttered his name here for the first time, heart breaking anew. 

_ “Come back home, Ben.” _

“Alright,” he mumbled, but not before nuzzling between her naked breasts and huffing a soft sigh there. She moaned when he distractedly traced kisses there, too, where she ached the most. “You cried then, when the third pregnancy test showed negative. I held you in the bathroom and kissed you in the shower as you wept. But after the fifth time turned out positive, you cried again!” He exclaimed quietly. 

Rey smiled. “I did?” 

“You said you always wanted to have a family. That belonging was such an important part of what drove you forward. I wanted to give you that. I wanted to give you everything, Rey.” 

_ “You know I can take whatever I want.” _

“You deserve everything I could ever give— and more.” Ben said. 

“What happened when Hannah finally came?” 

He beamed and she had an idea that it was probably exactly what he looked like when he found out. _ The ultimate gift _, Poe had called the child. This was Rey’s ultimate gift—and greatest, most painful longing. 

“Hannah was such a beautiful child. She was what made my life whole again. She gave my life purpose. You and Hannah make me want to wake up everyday, Rey Johnson.” 

Suddenly, the world shifted on its axis and she remembered where she was. Her tears streamed faster. 

“Hey, hey,” Ben said. 

_ “The belonging you seek is not behind you,” _ spoke her consciousness. _ “It is ahead.” _

And ahead, this was not. She was not Rey Johnson, novelist and wife to Ben Solo. No matter how wonderful this Hannah girl was, she was not her mother. This house was not hers, this bed was not hers, this _ body _was not hers. She was a discarded puzzle piece. Even fitted with this Ben Solo, fragments of her flitted, aching for someone else. 

It was peace that came over her then, but one that came with pain. With the softest touch, she reached out to him, heart aching one last time. 

“Ben?” She whispered.

“Yes?” 

“No matter where you may be, please know I have always loved you. Always will.” 

*

With dewy wetness trapped in her lashes, Rey blinked—and swung her saber up hard on instinct as a slash of red collided with her blade. Feral eyes and flaring nostrils greeted her here; the withering chill of seeping shivering coldness like a slap in the face. Reality again. How very underwhelming. 

Kylo’s feet moved rapidly, almost too fast for her to follow, but it was nearly muscle memory by now to watch him move. For each step-and-slash he took, she was there to meet him. Always so close—but never within range. Somehow, the sounds and the sears of heat from his blade was reduced to a dull throb in her heart, so that each time she parried, the hit reverberated with a weak force on her hand. 

It was like wading through water. She supposed that was true. Distant screams of starfighters low and fast in the sky made the ground tremble beneath her feet. It solidified her resolve as she grit her teeth in advance, watching slivers of water sluice in his hair as her blade landed sideways, singing the tips of his hair in the process. Kylo lost balance and caught his weight on one foot, but it was too late. He landed with a heavy squelch on the muddy soil. Her thighs caught the sides of his wide torso as she pounced on him, anger in her eyes matching the ferocity in his. 

She should forget about what happened. This _ was _ her life and it was not going to get better.

With her blue blade perched mere inches over his scarred face, she blinked the droplets away from her eyes again. There was an eerie calm as he laid there, red-faced, wet, and completely at her mercy. Was that defeat? Misery? Surrender? 

“This was how I dreamt of it, Scavenger.” He said. She swallowed vile resentment around that nickname. “How I saw you in my mind as you killed me.” 

He chuckled, the sound a raspy scratch against his throat nearly drowned out by the pouring rain. “It was a little different, though. My Knights aren’t here.” 

Rey growled, hovering the tip of the glowing blade closer to his face. “What are you talking about?” 

“The first vision we shared.” 

In her mind was the stormy night once more, but it had shifted. Where their minds joined, this image filtered in now and it echoed of change. Her brows furrowed. _ Change was not for them. _

“Are you going to do it?” He asked, barely above a whisper. She did not answer, turning her attention to the voices occupying the footsteps hitting the mud around them. Here she noticed that the crossguard lightsaber was extinguished and that Kylo made no effort to change that. “Are you going to kill me?” 

_ I can’t, _ she wanted to say. _ I don’t want to. _

“That’s not for me to decide.” 

Rey stood briskly. When the Resistance soldiers brought their forces to bear on him, she called on his saber with her mind. Making sure that he was not going to put other members of the Resistance in grave danger, she turned her back and walked away to where the battle had thinned. He was not there in her mind when she rinsed in the fresher, even as she knew he sat no more than a few feet from her in the holding cell of her own starship. 

She bore that down like she bore down on everything he made her feel and turned her focus to the rapid lines of starlight. 

*

They were left with very little to call an army, but even so, the crowding triumphant members of the last surviving Resistance had hearts and spirits that were luminous and effervescent. Rey had watched on the small monitors in the hangar bay how the red dot of the First Order’s last remaining capital ship fell, and with it, General Hux and the remaining figureheads of the First Order. It was the one that started it all —The _ Supremacy _. But where they claimed victory would arise, Rey only felt nothingness. The win would very much help Rey and her friends heal from the wounds of war for now, but there was no telling how long that would last. 

Besides, she had other things to worry about. Such as this one—standing in front of Leia in her office, waiting with bated breath at what the General called her here to say. It was exactly what she’d expected. 

“You disobeyed a direct order by going to Serroco without my permission,” Leia said. 

Leia always valued honesty, and so Rey’s impulsivity owed that to her. “I needed to lure Ky- the Supreme Leader effectively. And that meant making sure he thought he was going to leave there safe.” 

“What if _ you _ hadn’t been able to leave safe?” 

There it was, that question. The one everyone thought about, but never had the courage to verbalize. Rey thought it didn’t matter, not when she knew that this was a loop stuck on itself. She thought about Rey Johnson again and her life. 

“That doesn’t matter now.” 

“I suppose you’re right,” Leia sighed. “You can see yourself out... but Rey, I’m disappointed in you.” 

“What will happen to him?” She asked, swallowing. 

Leia stared at her, nodded at the door, and quietly asked her to leave. 

*

The only functional holding cell that the Resistance could use on someone like Kylo Ren was the one on the West End of the Akuria Rebel Base. It was an old base, away from the radar of the remaining First Order allies still grappling for safety in similar Outer Rim planets like this one. Akuria II was cold and unforgiving, and when Rey stalked the slim halls down to the base’s bowels and into the holding cells, she only felt colder as she neared where Kylo sat on the floor, face hidden in the shadow, but mind open enough that she could wade in. 

When she slowly entered his mind, she fixated on the small splinter of fear. She was unsure how to feel about that. Kylo rarely feared anything. 

“Come to gloat, Scavenger?” He asked, before she could entertain thoughts of turning around and just leaving him there. Bitterness. It was so prevalent in his mind that she could taste it in her mouth. She walked cautiously in the space before the cell, saw a red dot blinking and heard a faint clink of metal. Shrouded in the dark like this, she could not see his face. But she knew that blink, knew where it came from. She swallowed. 

“Are they feeding you?” 

Silence. And then he scoffed. “Feeding me? I am a prisoner of war. I cannot demand anything.” 

“Are they feeding you?” 

“What do you think they’re going to do to me?” 

She wished he didn’t ask. Rey had done quite a good job forgetting all about it since yesterday. “That’s not for me to answer.” 

She should have known that such a response would not suffice. He shared his mind with her after all, and she shared hers. “You’re scared,” He muttered, almost with a tinge of amusement. Rey clenched her jaw. “Scared still, even now. You’re standing on the other side of these bars. You won.”

She wasn’t sure. She was not here to talk about that. “You have been captured, Kylo Ren. It would serve you well to feed us with information about the First Order’s allies in the fringes of space.” 

“What makes you think I’ll tell you?” 

“I would imagine that the threat of a death sentence is enough incentive.” 

“I don’t fear death, Scavenger—“

“_ Rey _,” she corrected, not really knowing why. 

“I don’t fear death… Rey. I fear it when it’s not from you.” 

“I’m not going to kill you.” 

“Then what have you come here for?” 

She drew her attention to the blinking dot on the collar around his neck and swallowed. He saw her looking there and touched it with dirty, naked fingers. Even in that small moment, she saw that pieces of the dark man she knew could be shed if only he had the courage to do it. 

“I am offering you an alternative to dying.” 

“Didn’t you hear what I just said? They would make no such concessions for me,” he replied quietly. “Stop wasting your time.” 

Thoughts of the alternative life waltzed back in her mind then, as she watched his back turn from her. In the other world, he always turned towards her—did it so many times that they had even married after doing it enough. Rey found it irritating that this had to happen, that even after the war, after seeing him there behind the grills, still her heart longed for him. She didn’t mean to, but she thought about Hannah.

Kylo turned to her, eyes hard and voice harder. “It wasn’t real.” 

She met him halfway in their minds. There were no walls to divide them now, both of them too mentally exhausted to throw up their defenses. “You know it wasn’t real. That will never be us, Rey.”

Tears formed in the corner of her eyes. She was so tired. Tired of having this conversation. “Why?” She asked. 

“Because no matter how much I want you, we will never be together.” 

She stared at him. “You want me?” 

He only heaved a shaky sigh. 

She thought about what Leia said. And what she didn’t say. Maybe it didn’t matter. She wanted anyway. She wanted for things to be different so that he could say it out loud. _ I want you. _He would scream from the top of the highest tower in Coruscant in the thinning atmosphere. 

“It could change. The sentence.” She said and knew she was grasping at straws. 

“Change? We’re not free, Rey. We can’t change here.” 

Frustrated, she advanced, slapping a hand so hard on one of the grills it bit into the skin of her palms. “You _ can _. I told you I’ve seen it. I see it every time we’re together. See it every time you touch me. It was there the first time that we—“ 

Kylo touched the side of her face. “I wish I could say ‘I love you’ like he did. I wish I could build a family with you like he did. But even without Snoke, I— we… can’t.” 

So he knew. Had he been hurting the whole time, too? 

“Why?” She whispered sharply, sniffling. “It’s so easy—“

“Not after all I’ve done. I don’t deserve to say it. I don’t deserve you. I deserve this. Collared and hating every rehydrated food pack I’m being given to eat—“ 

She didn’t know where her strength came from, but the next thing she knew, she was reaching an arm in to pull him down from the back of his neck—and kissing him. 

The metal was hard, pressed against her bruised cheekbones when she kissed him. His lips were soft and hard at the same time, unmoving in his surprise. When he met her kisses, he swiped his tongue against her lower lip and kissed her with everything he had. It was the kiss of a dying man, she thought—and she was the last one he chose to give it to. Just as he had given her his first one. 

When they pulled away, she gave a wet, dejected laugh. “Kylo, I—“ 

Kylo wiped her tears away with his thumb. “Go, Rey. I’ll be alright.” 

She sobbed. “Please… Don’t do this, Ben.” 

Just then, a guard walked down the hall and spotted Rey. “Hey!” 

Rey ignored them. “Don’t go this way.” She pled again. 

Kylo’s warm hands retreated in the dark just as the guard was able to escort her out of the cell hold. 

*

The fringes turned out to be so very few and on so many weaker planets that they weren’t so much trouble to round up for the Resistance. Kylo had reconsidered his position and opted to tell on his former allies to his subsequent interrogators. He had explicitly requested not to be interrogated by Rey, and after what that guard had seen when she last stood before his cell, she found she could not blame them. That guard surely talked. She knew he talked because just a few hours after she was swept away from the holding cells, Poe Dameron had looked at her funny. Finn looked at her with worry. 

She addressed neither. 

Especially since the embittered part of her wanted to remind everyone that if she hadn’t lured him out to Serroco, they wouldn’t be able to bring him here in the first place. Or send the rest of the First Order forces into enough panic that all the Resistance had to do was slowly pick them off. Kylo had also provided sufficient information about enough weapons dealers that the First Order partnered with to significantly put a dent in their arsenal. At some point, she heard gossip in the mess hall that one of the interrogators actually managed to tease out why the First Order forces were stretched so thin. 

_ Obsession _ , they said, _ of his archenemy and equal in the light _. Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader, had spent the last days of his reign sending out pilots, squadrons, spies, and bounty hunters after her, instead of the Resistance as a whole. She wondered how true that was. When they met in secrecy for their dalliance, there was almost nobody there but them. 

On the day of his trial, he requested she was not anywhere near. General Organa insisted cam droids be installed to broadcast the trial live to the rest of the Resistance, but only within this base for now. Rey was in the hangar when the trial began, patching up derelict starships with Poe. They were intending to use it for the last of the assaults. It was hard work and Poe already had so much on his hands. There were only just enough pilots at this point; they needed any help they could get. 

After surviving the horrors of the Battle of Crait, Dameron had realized that working smarter was the key. As a result, the missions were more detailed, more informed, less brash, strangely unhurried, too, if she really wanted to get into it. Nevertheless, always smarter. 

Crait was the first thing she heard when the holodrone over them flew in with a projection from the trial. Rey watched as Kylo Ren detailed information about the weapon they had used to crack the steel stronghold of the Crait base among several others types of advanced technology, even the active tracking technology they had put to the test. He went on to profile several powerful supporters of the First Order, and even offered to help find them. The council declined. 

The only thing left to do now was untangle everything they could untangle. 

Rey watched all of it end, blinking in the soulless eyes of Kylo Ren as he looked at the holocam—straight at her. 

*

He was allowed to walk around the base about a week after the small ruling council left in the Resistance agreed with much difficulty that he be merely banished. Rey suspected Leia had something to do with that, but hadn’t gone so far as to pull her aside to ask about it. It was still not her place. 

Kylo avoided people when he walked around the base, haunting empty corridors during cold nights like a phantom, always whisked away in the shadows. Rey knew exactly where he was—she always did—and left him largely alone because she knew it was what he wanted. 

One night, stuck in wanderlust and deep in thought, Rey allowed herself to spend hours just sitting cross-legged under one of the starfighters. Her fingers stunk of motor oil and tendrils of her hair stuck to the collecting sweat on her nape. Soft little whirls of flurry would reach her face sometimes and it would make her nose wrinkle. 

It was in this state that Kylo found her, prostrate, almost just watching the world go by. Even though said world was locked out for the bone-chilling coldness it possessed.

This had been one of the few moments he stepped out of the suffocating shadows and into the light, unflinching in his gaze as she looked at him from where she sat. 

“Rey.” He said. She merely nodded at him. 

“May I sit here?” He asked next, after striding close enough to her to gesture a hand on the floor beside her. She nodded about that, too. 

For a few minutes, they sat there, both absorbed in the peace of emptiness. When Kylo broke the relative peace, he did so with another hard truth. Always, always with the hard truth. 

“They hate me here.” That was the farthest from a question a statement could be. With no other way left to react, she chuckled quietly. 

“I wonder why.” 

“I’m serious. My mother should not have let me live.” 

Rey released a deep sigh. “Maybe you’re right. But if we hadn’t kept you alive, the First Order would still be around.” 

This was true of the recent developments. The First Order was, in fact, no more. Though the prosperous joy that came with it was not as satisfactory as the fall of the Empire had been. After all, just before the First Order fell, they already took Hosnian Prime along with them. 

“Did you wager with my mother?” 

“About your sentence?” 

“Mmh.” 

“No. What makes you think that?” 

“My mother operates on duty. Always has since I was a child. Whoever it was that suggested I be merely banished for all my crimes does not sound like my mother.” 

“Your mother loves you, Ben.” She muttered, exasperated. She clung to her coats and furs tighter, smelling the sharp stench of years of hardship in the fabric. “Is it so very unbelievable for you if she wants you to ruminate on your mistakes?” 

“That’s by far worse.” 

“Worse than being dead?” 

Kylo sighed for the first time since he sat. “Death by your hand is the only death I want.” 

She hated that he had to always say it like that. As if she even _ wanted _ to kill him. “How do you know I want you dead?” 

More silence. “You don’t?” 

When she replied, it was barely above a whisper. “I don’t.” 

The weight of his gaze fell on the side of her face but she couldn’t meet it. She swallowed, instead, rubbing her soiled fingers together for some kind of warmth. He watched her do it, before he began pressing his own palms together and clasping the warmed flesh around her fingers. 

“Even if that’s true, the rest of the base would still open fire at me in a heartbeat.” 

She had tried her very best to forget about the red blinking dot of the heavy collar around his neck. To no avail. It was a reminder of where he stood again. Where _ she _stood. Still on opposite ends, stealing away moments in secrecy. 

She hated that she couldn’t do anything about it either and that even if she dreamt up some way to sidestep the strictness that came with having a high-powered Force user as prisoner, all she could feel along with it was guilt. 

“So you’ve seen Hannah?” She dared to ask. The low thrum of the cold wind would cleanse the secrets they would spill here anyway. Come morning, it would all be new. 

A ghost of a smile, and then: “Yes.” 

“How?” 

“I don’t know. It was a long time ago after I was in audience with… Snoke.” For the first time since they kissed through the bars of his cell, he opened his mind up for her inspection as she watched his systematic torture under the gangly fingers of the creature he once called Master. 

“I was delirious with pain…” He said and Rey could see it in her mind, Kylo nearly slipping off the edge of his utilitarian bed, clutching his head, and whimpering in excruciating pain. And then a flash of light, the scorch of something else entering his mind and—

Little Hannah on just the other side. She was watching him watch her as they were surrounded by creatures she couldn’t recognize. These ones had fur and claws. She saw one with a beautiful mane, another with flexible arms and legs swinging from the branches of tall trees. Hannah was practically vibrating with energy as she walked around among them, just watching them through the safe side of what appeared to be a glass enclosure. 

She saw a woman bounding up to this Ben, then, her form splotchy but vibrant either way. She pushed her feet up to seal her return to him with a kiss—before Kylo was gently pushing her out of the vision seconds later. 

As they locked eyes, there was a fresh wave of sadness. 

“Why is the Force connecting us this way?” She asked. 

“I don’t know. It’s too late for it to show us something anyway.” 

“It was nice to pretend.” She admitted. 

“Pretend?” 

“That we could have Hannah.” 

The smile he gave was small, unbidden. “Would I be a terrible husband if I insisted I wanted to change that name?” 

She chuckled. “No, don’t worry.” 

“Would I even be a good enough husband for you, Rey?” His face was open, eyes just as deep as when she first saw them. Her hand came up to the side of his face tentatively. When it landed on his cheek, it was gentle and his skin was warm and soft. 

“We can work on it.” 

His smile grew a little wider. “What are my problem areas?” 

“So many,” she blurted as they both laughed in earnest. She pulled him in for another slow kiss then, away from watchful eyes. 

*

As the warm glow of sunlight spread across the tundra landscape outside the following morning, she watched in silence as the starship that took him away to another planet disappeared into the nearby Hyperspace Line. 

*

Months of rebuilding societies and cities with the cooperation of the Resistance and other scattered local rebel groups occupied most of Rey’s waking hours. She cheered the freedom of slave planets alongside the liberation of the slaves from their slavers. It would take more work for planetary systems submerged for too long under the tight hold of the First Order to regain their footing, but the oppression that their people had long suffered was blessedly enough for them to rise up and cooperate with the Resistance’s efforts to start them off with small governments. 

Many members of the Resistance from these planets helped further the cause, too. They had, after all, dedicated most of their lives to fighting the good fight. It was only right that they be given the chance to return to their Home Worlds where they belonged. 

Rey was envious of that. She belonged nowhere. Kylo had hidden from her where he’d been taken to, and even through the bond he only allowed her information that would not pertain to the world he’d been dumped on. 

No words came to mind when she tried to figure out why it hurt her to be left in the dark like this. She and Kylo had never had a relationship based on sharing secrets with each other. If they had, the Galaxy would have seen a shorter war. But she had thought that a big change would come after his banishment. That maybe in the nights of aching loneliness they shared, Kylo would finally find it in him to freely talk to her, connect with her through the bond in ways they never had before. 

For months he remained silent, but she prodded when she found herself in his consciousness, only to be disappointed at every turn. 

One afternoon, while in planetfall on the planet Aurea, she felt his mind open. The process was slow and seemed like it took a lot of effort on his side. She wondered why that was. He had never had trouble with the bond before. With Dameron on the controls, she was free to amble quietly within the ship, waiting for the struggle from his end of the bond to make sense. 

Only when she stepped foot on Aurea soil did she feel sharp pangs of pain through her back, causing her to double over by a stack of wooden crates. Dameron and Kaydel had been there with her, asking questions she couldn’t hear above the pounding in her—their—head. 

“Kylo?” She murmured. He looked up. From across the galaxy, she could see him splayed out on moon-kissed grass, crooked teeth showing as he laughed. She was standing before him, knees bent and eyes trained on the slow trickle of blood from the side of his head. 

“What happened?” 

“I fell from my hut.” He said, flexing his biceps as he sat and sighed, his eyes never leaving hers. “You don’t have to come to my rescue, Rey. Accidents happen all the time. Even to Dark Lords.” 

She must look ridiculous to Kaydel and Poe now, but after all that had happened, after having been out of contact with him for so long, she hardly cared. “You’re not a Dark Lord anymore.” 

“And how joyful that is for you.” 

“I—“ 

“Enjoy Aurea, Rey. You deserve it.” 

*

The next morning, she felt her mind throbbing with a building ache and a space where something… important used to be. 

Kylo Ren had withdrawn himself from the Force. 

*

Being separated from another person had two levels. 

The first being the tolerable level. Friends stayed away, they went to celebrations, feasts. They either returned to their Home Worlds to finally pursue something they always wanted to do or simply opted to stay there for good. This tolerable level was Rey’s reaction to Rose saying she would be going back to Hays Minor to help with environmental rehabilitation efforts and to honor her sister Paige by dedicating a grave to her. 

The other level was the selfish part. It was the kind of separation that whipped around in anger at being neglected. It was one that did not wait. And it was the reason she had hopped on the nearest starship to scour the Galaxy for his presence. 

At least, that was the plan, before Finn came over to warn her not to do anything she would regret. Her mind was made up, though, and Finn resignedly offered her a final gift to take along with her on her journey. 

Malachor V. The planet of Kylo’s exile.

It turned up on the navicomputer, but information of it on the holonet was scarce. Only that it was the perfect shadow of a planet to exile someone. Something about it being wartorn so many years ago. She punched in the coordinates anyway and located the planet in the Chorlian Sector. 

She had waited three months too long. 

*

Kylo Ren was waiting for her when she made planetfall on the wasteland that was his new home. She glimpsed the moon-bathed grass she’d seen before, traced the battered terrain of the planet. The gorges, the scars, the jagged rocky spires—a landscape of broken things. 

And in the middle of it all—two more broken pieces of the same whole, no longer separated by entire worlds. Even with the world around them gouged with battle scars, Rey found she’d never felt more whole, more connected to someone. 

“Ben,” she whispered, feeling the slow warmth of his mind flowing back into hers. 

“Rey.” He answered, sullen eyes brightening in the moonlight. He looked around him at the almost-barren landscape. “Don’t I so perfectly belong here?” 

“No,” she said shakily, crossing the few steps between them and moaning when he grasped desperately for her as they kissed. Heady, _ real_. Rey couldn’t breathe. “You belong to me.” 

He pressed his forehead against hers. “No more pretending?” 

She smiled with everything left in her to smile. “No more.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Here be Cosmic’s thought process while writing this oneshot. 
> 
> Step 1: Write down prompt that sounds crack-y and plot-driven enough to work.  
Step 2: Research and realize through subsequent brainstorming sessions with friends that adding Angst to it unlocks its full potential.  
Step 3: Add Angst. Like. A lot of it. 
> 
> -
> 
> [Greater Plooroid Cluster](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Greater_Plooriod_Cluster)  
[Serroco](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Serroco)  
[Transparisteel](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Transparisteel)  
[Flimsiplast](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Flimsiplast)  
[Aurebesh](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Aurebesh)  
[Ord Mantell](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ord_Mantell)  
[Akuria Rebel Base](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Akuria_Rebel_Base)  
[Akuria II](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Akuria_II)  
[Aurea](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Aurea)  
[Hays Minor](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Hays_Minor)  
[Malachor V](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Malachor_V)  
[Chorlian Sector](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Chorlian_sector)


End file.
